fireflies

when shadows gather

and we watch for

fireflies,

I watch your face and

still wonder at the

sight

cold light

I see luminescence

behind that look

in your eyes

in that lost moment

between whisper

and sigh

where I lose you

and find you

again —

it’s a pretty word

for a cold

sight

regret

to my lasting regret,

this is what you do best:

you make me laugh,

and you make me forget

bliss

and this
you give me:
obscure love notes
Charles Bukowski quotes
uncertainty, and equanimity,
and more often than not: bliss.

and so I write

sometimes I write

because you need

acknowledgment:

at least in my head

bone marrow

the blackbirds

are flying again

you’re screaming

bloody murder

I cut my fingernails

and try not to laugh

and you ask me

what do you want?

what do you want?

is it blood?

no

when I am this hollow

I want bone marrow

I used to watch you sometimes

beautiful boy with your beautiful eyes

I used to watch you sometimes

a cigarette between your lips,

towel just reaching your thighs

you were gorgeous, drug-addled,

with your sweet shy smile

(tenderly washing my fingers

and making me cry)

beautiful boy with your beautiful eyes

I used to watch you sometimes

coming down, on the ground,

mumbling my name, trembling,

lighting your cigarettes,

and fighting the shaking

(you’d hold my wrists so hard,

I was scared of breaking)

beautiful boy with your beautiful eyes

I used to watch you sometimes