Russian roulette

(the memory of)
your kiss is still a knife I hold
between clenched lips
a live bullet inside
my mouth

undone

slowly undoing that top button of your shirt you undo me

shredded

he called me beautiful today - your memory was gunfire shredding me apart.

slice of happiness

and so you serve me a slice of happiness - I really shouldn't let you make me smile

leaving - VII

stop begging - I refuse to fall into your still-beautiful laughter again.

leaving - VI

don't run to me with your happiness I no longer treasure I am not your home now

leaving - V

you bring your happiness to me as I am emptying myself of you find a new place for your smiles

leaving - IV

how happy we must seem to anyone watching

leaving - III

by the beach today our old roads broken now those dreams all drenched in salt

leaving - II

begging is undignified learn to let me go with grace

leaving - I

you're drowning in regret I am finally unwilling to save you

those hugs

remembering how you used to hug me
until I'd fight for breath

(I still fight to breathe
now that you're gone)

the me from you

we can’t unravel us now, entangled as we are; where do we find a thread? where slip in the knife? how do we start slicing the me from you? we are blended, melded, bonded, fused you have absorbed me, I have inhaled you we are more than one, yet never two how do we separate the me from you?

letters - III

that time I called you a mistake and you cried, I should have stayed the course and shunned those eyes raised a glass and smiled

objectification

you – a singular expendable thing my sweet, sweet darling